Sunday, December 18, 2005

Amazing Ads on Star Online

I first notice the unusual ads when I read about the King Cobra visit to a Hindu Temple in Puchong which I blogged in Holy Snake?. There, alongside the Star Online article about the serpent’s homage to a Hindu deity, I noticed with some amusement on the right hand side of the page reserved for Google ads, some advertisements of goods related to snakes, like snake cures, etc.

Then from time to time I noted that Star Online’s advertisement of Google ads were very cleverly selected to ‘match’ the news presented on the page.

Today, in one news item on the Middle East problem titled ‘Israeli helicopter fires missile in Gaza - witnesses’, I noted the typical 'matching' advertisements, which in today's case are even more than just unusual for Malaysia, because I am just surprised the Malaysian political police haven’t jumped on Star Online.

BTW, don’t worry about the news item as that’s incidental to this posting, apart from the fact that no one was killed; just the usual Israeli military firing missiles at a target in Gaza - maybe some Palestinian kindergarten schoolgirls.

The page shows 4 advertisements in the Google ads section, of which two displayed offers from Israel. Anyway, in conjunction with the Israeli missile attack on a Gaza location, the ads are:

(1) Jewish prophecy - What the Torah says about current events. How a Jew should prepare!

I wonder whether that had instigated the IAF missile attacks?

(2) Fear No Man – discover what the army doesn’t want you to know.

When I click on to it, it boasts:

"Astonishing Shortcut Fighting Secrets So Dangerous They Were Banned By Congress Finally Revealed By Notorious Former Military 'Secret Weapon' Who Scares Even Top Martial Art Pros... By Quickly Turning Even Scrawny Weaklings Into Monster Killing Machines Almost Overnight!"

Surely not Charles Atlas resurrected? Atlas' ads always promise to turn scrawy weakling into He-man in 7 days or money returned, but this one provides a more immediate result, overnight or if we read it a bit more carefully almost overnight, which could mean anything from 1 day to 100 years. The it went on:

"Until now, this former military trainer (who shall remain nameless because his brutally effective techniques are so dangerously powerful that the government shut him down... not once, but twice!) only shared his 'street-fighting' self-defense killer secrets with Spec-Op Soldiers, Secret Service agents and top CIA operatives."

Bold underlining done by KTemoc. I am not surprised he chooses to remain nameless with such extravagant promises of his secrets. But has the advertisement been to remind those that if the aircraft missile strikes weren't successful, there may be a need for arm-to-arm combat, and the course secrets will ensure the subscriber would be prepared ... eh ... overnight?

(3) The third one is an invitation to subscribe to Israeli TV channels though it doesn’t clarify which one. It will provide a software that enables one’s PC to receive those amazing Israeli TV shows via the Internet ... of the missile strikes?

Hmmm, I know of at least one Malaysian bloke who, if he knows about this offer, will undoubtedly rush to subscribe. It’s US$25 per month. But to him, anything Israeli is bloody good. Once he told anyone who would listen to him that Jews have a special gene that makes them ... eh ... special. My doctor, an European Aussie told me that Chinese have a special gene that keeps them younger than other ethnic group. Subsequently he confessed to me he is married to a Chinese. Wise man, sure knows how to keep his wife happy.

(4) Then in case one is worried about killing Palestinians, the 4th advertisement titled ‘God loves soldiers’ reminds man of his sin because he’s separated from God, and not because he kills. But no worries, the solution is at hand. It promises that "Jesus Christ is God's ONLY provision for soldier's sin. Through Him you, as an individual soldier, can know and experience God's love and plan for your life."

Thank God! Oh, I mean thank goodness.

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